Final Article

Hey guys, just posting my final article. Hope you enjoy:

“Is It Still Called Angst When You’re Not a Teenager?”

I’m not feeling alright. I haven’t been for years. Coming along through this existence that we call life, I’ve always thought that this feeling of unease, this feeling of discomfort, is something unnatural and something I should be ashamed of. Why should I, a twenty-one year old, supposedly carefree college student, feel so uneasy about life and existence? It seems as if there a void in my world that cannot be filled with anything—the problems of this world seem too overwhelming. Conflicting thoughts fill my brain, telling me that I should do what is right at all times, but also showing me wrong is more than evident everywhere in the world. What should I do? I need answers. I need to know why it feels so wrong to try to do right, and why it’s merely a simple choice to do wrong? Thankfully I don’t have to approach this subject solo.

I needed to know where to turn. And it was more than evident that the great philosophers of the past can help me in my pursuit of happiness. Immanuel Kant, Jean-Paul Sartre, Fyodor Dostoevsky, and Jack Kerouac. Who the hell are all these guys? Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi, James “Jimi” Hendrix, Robert Nesta Marley, and Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter. Why are Jimi Hendrix and Jean Paul-Sartre even in the same train of thought?

These people are the answer to my prayers, the liqght at the end of the tunnel, and the people that can best help me attain any sense of inner peace. The feeling of emptiness has transcended eras, and has harmed the widest spectrum of minds. These great minds all felt this angst that I currently feel. And these great minds are the ones I will use to get to a closer approximation of happiness, a more “filling” state of mind.

Scott Mescudi, better known as rapper Kid Cudi, is a twenty-six year old rapper whose debut album Man on the Moon: The End of the Day explores the mind of a youngster in this difficult world. The song “Mr. Solo Dolo” reverberates with the same pain I feel in attempting to be the best person that I can be in an overly obtuse universe. Cudi screams:

Listen good, I don’t have nobody

But what I might feel are the sounds of sanity

Why must it feel so wrong when I try and do right?

Why does it feel so right when I know that it’s wrong?[1]

The difficulty behind doing the right thing is evident—a struggle that seems all too similar in my life. Why is it that whenever I want to do the right thing, I feel that it’s the worst thing that I can possibly do in the given situation? How should I act?

“Soundtrack of My Life” relates my desire to find security in an insecure world—“ I got 99 problems…wish I was Jigga-man (referring to multi-millionaire rapper Jay-Z), care free living.”[2] There is always the question of whether a happy life will actually be obtainable. At least this answers the question of whether I am alone struggling with such issues in my world. Cudi “looks for peace, but [does not] attain.[3]” Why is it so difficult to attain peace in this world? It is because there is a suffering evident that seems to bring about a new, elevated, sense of consciousness. One that Dostoyevsky understood way before my time.

Suffering is completely evident throughout the lyrics of Kid Cudi. Being of this generation, I feel the angst behind his voice, and instantly relate. The empty feeling in my life lead me to suffering, and this lead to difficult choices–choices of right and wrong. Dostoevsky tinkers with this thought throughout his novels, particularly Notes from the Underground, published in 1864. Notes follows an unnamed narrator in the middle of the same struggle as me. The more he seems to learn, the more painful life becomes. The ultimate lesson Dostoyevsky teaches us is that the more we free our minds, the more our consciousness evolves. And the more our consciousness evolves, the more suffering we feel. As dramatic as this seems, it’s exactly what I am going through right now. When I actually open my eyes, I see only suffering in the world that I can do nothing to stop. Dostoyevsky and Cudi show us that suffering is everywhere in our lives. Cudi rhymes “I try to think about myself as a sacrifice, just to show the kids they ain’t the only ones that up at night.”[4] We’re not alone in this world of anguish, forlornness, and despair.

When I was a freshmen at Pepperdine, I embarked on a journey to Oxford and Cambridge, England. I was nothing but a lost 19 year old looking for something to do over the summer, and I fell into a philosophy program based on the works of CS Lewis. I knew almost nothing about philosophy, but that summer became one of the greatest summers I could’ve ever asked for. I started to learn about the question of life, the question of whether I am becoming the person I know I should, could, and can be. I started to look at the question of who I am. And I started to gain a consciousness that I never had before, a very Dostoevsky-type consciousness that only produced more unhappiness in my life. This consciousness has caused me to question everything I have known to be “good” at the time and helped me look at things more specifically. Essentially, this consciousness has pushed me to find the true essence of good, and not the mechanized, cookie-cutter “good” that society teaches us.

My professor caught a girl on her cell phone one day in class and she instantly yelped, “sorry” in his general direction. His only response was, “no you’re not. You’re just being a piano key.” Dostoevsky explores this concept of acting like a “piano key” in Notes, banging down only because societal pressures tell us to go down and strike an exact, cookie cutter pitch. He writes, “[people are] nothing but a sort of piano key…so that whatever [one] does is not done according to his own wanting, but of itself, according to the laws of nature.”[5]

I’ve tried my best not to be a piano key, but this lead to being branded a weirdo and outcast. Doing what is unexpected causes me to stand out, not always in good ways. What forces us to do this? I shouldn’t have to care if people think I’m weird only because I do embrace the unorthodox.  Isolation is the punishment and reward, regardless of the prompt. Is this what my life has become? One of only mere existence? If this is life, well, then it sucks.

One day, I tweeted some Descartes—“During these last few days I was examining whether anything in the world exists…I noticed that…it obviously followed that I exist.”[6] It is obvious that I exist, and it is obvious that bearing on my existence is my ability to choose. But the clarity involved with being able to choose can be easily blurred, and distort the true distinctions between right and wrong, thanks to smidgeons of societal pressure.

So where can I turn? Is there a finite answer? The short answer is yes, and it lies within our own self-reliant state of mind that can help you distill true goodness. “Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself,”[7] as Jean-Paul Sartre says, so why not make our existence truly good? Sartre’s brand of existentialism is the doctrine in which we believe that man makes his own essence simply by deciding. It affirms that existence precedes essence, basically that we as people on this earth can make things essentially good if we so decide to. We create our own future, and we can create a moral future through a moral existence. So, why would I want to embrace this mentality? I can essentially reinvent myself as a moral and good person by acting and existing in a good way and pushing my essence towards a closer approximation of true goodness.

Sartre, however, also understands that the world is a gloomy place. The world is filled with anguish, forlornness, and despair, as he puts it, and all these things are overabundant and persistent in our lives. So, we must push through and away from this anguish, forlornness, and despair by creating a world where goodness reigns supreme. Existentialism attempts to fill the void of isolation with a world filled with morally right people who are all trying their best to obtain true goodness.

The best way I can explain existentialism is through a classic Jimi Hendrix lyric from his song “Castles Made of Sand”. Verse three begins with Jimi crooning:

There was a young girl, whose heart was a frown

‘Cause she was crippled for life

And she couldn’t speak a sound

And she wished and prayed she could stop living

So she decided to die[8]

Her choice was an existential one—she chose for herself to die, so she did. Existentialism gives us the ability to decide what our lives will now entail. It gives us the power to choose.  So why not choose an existence and life that will promote good in the world?

What is this “good” that we must promote though? What way should we act to promote this good in the world? Bob Marley’s song “War” raises a good point about the world as it stands today. “Until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all (without regard to race), there is war,”[9] Marley sings. It’s 2010 now and wars are still waged based on race and creed. These wars aren’t just in the traditional sense of massive killing, but also in random acts of prejudice—teasing, vandalism, etc. This raises the question on how we should act. Is there a guideline set for norms of human behavior?  Why can’t I do what I want, whenever I want? Immanuel Kant, philosopher and social theorist, can answer that question for us.

Back in the 18^th century, Kant came up with something he calls the categorical imperative. And it goes a little something like this: Formulation One: “Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.”[10] Formulation Two: “Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end.”[11] Allow me to translate for you. Basically, it’s a two-part rule for saying, “have one standard to treat everyone, and never use people.” What standard should we treat everyone by? The same exact one that we’d like to be treated by. And why not treat people as means? Just answer this: would you like to be treated like a stepping-stone, and then simply disregarded? No? Didn’t think so.

I’m struggling in my existence to find the good in life. So why can’t I find it with everyone else? Bob Marley said that we are constantly at war if universal human rights aren’t guaranteed. Kant teaches us to act in an ethical way in order to erode the barrier that blocks our path to ethical living. If we all act in accordance to Kant’s categorical imperative, it’s easy to see that hate will eventually wither away. We should live and define our existence as purely ethical beings. Only once we understand how to treat everyone the way we want to be treated, Bob Marley’s absolutely right. We are constantly at war until that day.

Surely, it’s easy to see how we should treat other people, but how should we treat ourselves? I went to church one Sunday and it happened to be the baptism of a baby girl. I saw how innocent and new she really looked. Then the preacher talked in his homily about how he was 10 years old back in 1949. I thought about the vast difference in age between the baby and him—a barely one-year old looking into the eyes of a seventy-year old. I started to reminisce on my earlier years, and images of living at home and experiencing the summers of my youth popped up. Fitting that these memories come so close to the end of this academic year.

On the way out of church, I helped an older gentleman down the stairs. I thought of my grandfather, and I thought about how much this man reminded me of him. He thanked me, and at that moment, I, for the first time, appreciated my youth. This newfound appreciation, coupled with my realization on how fast life is moving by, caused me to start thinking about the future, and how nothing will ever be the same again. I’ll never live the same lifestyle again, I’ll never be the same person I am now, and, more importantly, I won’t be forever young. I started to rue the ruthless nature of Father Time. And on the car ride home, I heard the most ironic of songs.

Jay-Z’s song “Young Forever”, paradoxically, put my problem into song. “Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip/forever young, I want to be forever young/do your really want to live forever (forever)?”[12] Do I really want to live forever? I did, but I got to thinking about what living forever would mean. Is it worth it to live like this and have it never end? Where would the push be to live a better life? It didn’t mean that my problems would be fewer. It meant that my problems would be permanent.

It’s in our youth that we figure out what we should do in the future. If we embrace a mentality that will perpetuate us to goodness, then our future is what really matters anyways. Life goes by fast, but it’s only worthwhile if you don’t worry so much about the here and now. “The good times of today are the sad thoughts of tomorrow. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Get up and live.”[13] These words of Robert Nesta Marley reverberate deep within my soul whenever I think about what I should do with my life. The only thing I can do is get up, and actually live. We must live to Hendrix’s’ famous words from his song “If 6 Were 9”—

If the sun refuse to shine,

I don’t mind, I don’t mind,

If the mountains fell in the sea,

Let it be, it ain’t me.

Alright, ‘cause I got my own world to look through,

And I ain’t gonna copy you.[14]

We must live to fulfill our own lives, regardless of societal pressures. We have to live, and be ourselves.

Jack Kerouac once said, “Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”[15] This quotes sums it up. If we act as piano keys, if we simply do what we’re told, and not what we should, then we will fade away into obscurity. We will never be able to accomplish great things. Sure, it may not be the most fun thing to do to stand out and garner negative attention. Sure it may not be the easiest thing in the world to go against societal pressure and take the road less traveled at the risk of having everyone laugh and ridicule you. But in the end, you’ll be applauded.

All of these great minds have been banned and censored at one point. All of these great minds have been ridiculed for being weird and unorthodox. But the one thing that this expanding list of great minds tells us is that we are not alone in the struggle. Sooner or later, everyone will experience the strife of the world and society. But just know, that we are not alone in feeling like this. The funny thing about this is that I could only write this article at night without someone looking over my shoulder, editing this piece. Maybe Kid Cudi is right—“some things will never change, the lonely loner seems to free his mind at night.”[16] Maybe one day I can feel comfortable enough to deal with this in the light. But until then, I’m stuck in this beautiful struggle.

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[1] Mescudi, Scott, Billy Cravens, Kanye West. “Mr. Solo Dolo.” Man on the Moon the End of Day. Universal Motown, 2009. CD.

[2] Mescudi, Scott, Billy Cravens, and Kanye West. “Soundtrack of My Life.” Man on the Moon the End of Day. Universal Motown, 2009. CD.

[3] Mescudi, Scott, Billy Cravens, and Kanye West. “Day ‘N’ Nite”.” Man on the Moon the End of Day. Universal Motown, 2009. CD.

[4] Mescudi, Scott, Billy Cravens, and Kanye West. “Soundtrack of My Life.” Man on the Moon the End of Day. Universal Motown, 2009. CD.

[5] Dostoyevsky, Fyodor, Richard Pevear, and Larissa Volokhonsky. Notes from Underground. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1993.

[6] Descartes, René, John Cottingham, and Bernard Arthur Owen. Williams. Meditations on First Philosophy: with Selections from the Objections and Replies. New York: Cambridge UP, 1996.

[7] Sartre, Jean-Paul. “Existentialism.” Existentialism and Human Emotions. New York: Carol Pub. Group, 1990. Print.

[8] Hendrix, Jimi. “Castles Made of Sand.” The Jimi Hendrix Experience : Axis, Bold as Love. Editado Por Polygram Ibérica, 1988.

[9] Marley, Bob. “War.” Rastaman Vibration. Tuff Gong, 1990

[10] Kant, Immanuel. Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals. Ed. Mary J. Gregor. Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge UP, 1998.

[11] Kant, Immanuel. Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals. Ed. Mary J. Gregor. Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge UP, 1998.

[12] Carter, Shawn “Jay-Z” “Young Forever.” The Blueprint 3. Roc Nation, 2009

[13] Marley, Bob. “Wake Up and Live.” Survival. The Island Def Jam Music Group, 2001

[14] Hendrix, Jimi. “If 6 Were 9.” The Jimi Hendrix Experience : Axis, Bold as Love. Editado Por Polygram Ibérica, 1988.

[15] Kerouac, Jack, and Ann Charters. The Portable Jack Kerouac. New York, N.Y., U.S.A.: Penguin, 2007

[16] Mescudi, Scott, Billy Cravens, and Kanye West. “Day ‘N’ Nite.” Man on the Moon the End of Day. Universal Motown, 2009. CD.

Cover Letter Draft

Sorry for taking so long with this cover letter. It literally took me the last 6 hours to decide what magazine to write a cover letter for, and I’ve finally settled on Forth Magazine (http://forthmagazine.com/)

So here goes nothing:

Shawn,

How goes it? Fellow starved writer here, Alex Tangkilisan, looking for something to do, and more importantly, something to write. I am a junior at Pepperdine university, with double majors in political science and English (yeah, I’m a bit of an overachiever…), and I think I can give you guys what you want and need. I know a Pepperdine-r is the last thing you might think you need, but trust me, I can help a Trojan out in need.

I’ve been passionate about writing as a lifestyle since I could express myself. I currently run a blog (alexgtang.wordpress.com) called “Wait, What, Why? Think about it First”, that attempts to rectify societal wrongs, and make sense of stupid norms. I think that my writing style not only fits, but complements your publication. It’s publications like yours that help people understand that literature, writing, and expression are not just something that artists do, but also something that everyone can do. And I would be extremely proud and happy to be part of a movement, such as yours, that promotes a renaissance in young writers.

So please, take into consideration my blog and the corresponding posts that range from topics of birthdays to stupid contests, and my article, a glimpse into the life of a twenty-something year old college student entitled, “Life as We Don’t Know it”, for your publication.

Eagerly waiting your response, and full of thanks:

Alex Tangkilisan

310-946-4018

P.S. Loved the interview with John Lithgow. Any insight into a quirky brain like his is very much appreciated…

A Happier Birthday

Pardon the lateness of this post. The post itself should kind of explain it better than I can…

Last week I celebrated my 21st birthday. A coming of age that I embraced as an end of a lifestyle. However, the optimist in me knows that this end of an age only opens up another one–a more mature one.

Tuesday March 30th is another birthday important to me. It is my mother’s.

Tomorrow is my mother’s birthday, and I debated whether it would be worth it to go home today and skip my morning class tomorrow. With finals week approaching quickly, I wasn’t sure if it was worth it. But then, it hit me. The question I was essentially asking myself was this: “Is it worth it to see my mother on her birthday?” Simple answer: yes.

This semester has been an increasingly busy one being a second semester junior. I am starting to see why people don’t go out as much since the workload increased significantly over the past few weeks. It has definitely pushed me overwhelming heights at times, and this has cost me something incredibly important. I have not been able to see my family at all this semester, apart from when my parents visited me for my birthday. I have not been able to see the most important people in the world to me, the people that I rely on the most.

Family has been incredibly important to me on my journey through life. They have supported my decision to go to Pepperdine, and it was my mom specifically that helped me get here in the first place. The fast pace of life has been incredibly harsh and volatile, which has lead to a shift in priorities. I valued work over what is more important.

Society has pushed us into this situation where we can either succeed (in terms of financial accomplishments) if we jeopardize a stable, loving family and home life. For example, my friend’s uncle is the CEO of a major film production company. I asked my friend about his uncle, and he said, “Well my uncle has to work incredibly long hours, but he does have a lot of financial success. No time for kids. That’s probably why he’s so successful actually…”

That mentality of work hard at the risk of having a loving family is ingrained in us. This is the most unfair trade-off that I have ever heard of. It is thanks to my family, thanks to my mother, that I have become the person I am today. It is because of the loving guidance of my mother that I have come to this decision to come home and see her for her birthday. And I wouldn’t trade my desire to make my mother happy for any amount of money in the world. And for this, I thank my mother very much for helping me understand my priorities in life. So for this, thank you, and happy birthday.

Happy Birthday Theresia Tangkilisan. God only knows what I’d be without you.

March 30th, 2010

Life is Over as I Know It

Wednesday marks a tumultuous day in my young life. It is the day that, by societal standards, I can declare myself a man. Wednesday March 24th, 2010, is my 21st birthday.

About a week ago, I started thinking about this day. I started thinking about what this day would represent as I seemingly transition into a new role in the world. The older you get, the more responsibilities start pouring in, and the more overwhelming life gets.

The earliest birthday that I can remember is my 5th birthday party. I was a youngster and Discovery Zone was all the rage. I remember my friends, my cake, and I remember least, my responsibilities. All I had to do was wake up for school (or in my case, be woken up), come home, and then watch cartoons until I sleep. Those worry-free days are as perfect as the Bobby McFerrin Song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. Kindergarten graduation blew by, and the next major birthday came up a number of years later.

2002 came and I became a teenager. 13, the age of rebellion and complication. I still had a childish mindset when I was 13, and was not prepared for the responsibilities of school essays, social pressures, and the evermore attractive fairer sex. What was once a carefree social zone erupted into a full-fledged social nightmare. Girls were no longer yucky–they were instead people that I should impress. Societal pressures taught me that I have to conform to be cool, so I started spiking my hair and sagging my pants.

3 years later, I turned 16. Society pressured me into getting a car that stands out, and I conformed. But with that car, I realized the responsibility that came with driving. I had to obey the traffic and speeding laws, I had to respect the police (who only are here to protect me! …) and I had to obey my parents curfew rules (never did…). My first speeding ticket came about 6 weeks later…and I started to understand that I could no longer do whatever I wanted to dom whenever I wanted. I had to live by society’s standards.

I turned 18 in 2007. Shortly after, I got a letter from selective services about registering for the military. I realized that I now was a part of America’s population. I was accountable, as an “adult”, for the protection of the United States if something were to ever happen. I was able to vote in the next presidential election to make American history. And I was getting older and realizing that life is going by fast.

I turned 20 last year and was instantly depressed. I realized that I was no longer a teen, and am now entering a new decade of my life. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that saddened me, but I knew now that life would go by faster than it ever will. My workload at school started piling on and I had much more responsibility in general.

I remember when I turned 16 and got my driver’s license, I looked at it and read “21 in year 2010″ and thought to myself, “wow, that will never EVER come…” And now here it is. Fewer than 48 hours until that fateful day. What comes next? Inevitably I have more responsibility. The faster life goes now, the more I have to be accountable for. The next birthday I’ll have will mark when I have to leave college and deal with the real world. Then what to look for after that? Is there anything else to look forward to after my 21st birthday?

Wednesday is coming up fast, and with every new day comes a new beginning. What this beginning will bring, I do not know. But one thing I can say is that the carefree days of life are far behind me now, that’s for sure.

Alexander George Tangkilisan (March 24, 1989-March 23, 2010)–>Alexander George Tangkilisan (March 24, 2010-???)

Draft

The Unexamined Life

I walked into my morning class expecting the worst, as a bold T.B.A was written on the syllabus/calendar. I knew that my teacher liked to hide tricks up his sleeve, as he is notorious for his smart aleck-y responses and throwing me out of class for coming in 10 minutes late. So, I was incredibly nervous for what was to come after giving us over a week without schoolwork. When I walked into class, the words The Examined Life emitted from the board.

What could this be? The professor that delighted in giving me a “no grade” for “writing the wrong kind of essay” on a midterm was easing us into the second half of the semester with a movie. Easy, right? The names of the people that flashed on the screen: Cornel West, Avital Ronell, Peter Singer, Kwame Anthony Appiah, Martha Nussbaum, Michael Hardt, Slavoj Zizek, Judith Butler and Sunaura Taylor. Many I know, most I don’t , and the names I do know, I knew they would say something that I would be obliged to think about simply because of how thought provoking their comments could be.

The film captured the world’s 9 most influential modern-day philosophers and their take on Socrates’ famous quote–”The unexamined life is not worth living”–and shows us how philosophy is something that is accessible and readily available as a source of knowledge in everyday life. Their take on the ethical, on life, on everything, comes down to the very real statement made by Cornel West: “Time is Real”. And this quote got me to thinking.

If time is real, then everything we do is real, and nothing can be taken back. In essence, this means that we only live life to die,and every breath we take is one less breath that we’ll ever have. Why live simply to die and not know anything else except what is given to you? Why live an unexamined life? Why have we been so complacent in society that we do see things black and white?

The shades of grey are what we should strive to understand. To see life in a limited way is not living at all. To live simply to die renders us as mere creatures without purpose.

These three simple words, “time is real”, really does make me question many things about what I know or think to be real. I seemingly used to live life in such a way as that I am working only and up until the clock stops ticking. I have never really understood the who in the equation, the why in the motivation, and the what in what I’m actually doing. Through those three simple words, I realized that life really is not worth living without some sense of purpose and motivation behind our daily actions.

What are the things that make life pleasurable and liveable? Is it the fact that we can think for ourselves and create meaning for ourselves? Or is it just worth living simply because it is there, regardless of what we do with it? I choose the former, simply because then, life would be something worth living. To create meaning in your life through simple deliberations would make live much more liveable. Anything else would simply be living like a drone and a plain clone. Time is real, so get on it and live life to the fullest, that’s what I learned.

And to think, I was going to miss class today…

Rites of Passage

February 19th, 2010. The night started out with drinks at a local bar in Santa Monica, and soon turned into an all-night adventure somewhere in Hollywood. The clock read 11PM and we arrived on Hollywood Blvd. and pulled upto Playhouse. Relatively early on a Friday night, we got into Playhouse and immediately left after the boring and slow crowd. I called another friend and she tells us to meet her at Kress up the street. We were about 2 beers down by the time the it reached midnight and my friend was long overdue for a birthday shot, or so the bartender told us. So the bartender brings out a double shot of patron silver. I said no, but my friend bellowed, a la Kool-Aid Man, a loud “OH yeaaaaah.” Smooth.

From that shot, the night turned into one of alliances. We went outside for a breather, only to meet up with a group of what seemed like lost Asian tourists. Chainsmoking a pack of Lucky Sun cigarettes, the two struck conversation with us, and mentioned that it was his girlfriend’s birthday. What started off as a boring night for us suddenly turned interesting when we were invited to 2 tables with multiple bottle service, and to top it all off, a harem of beautiful asian girls.

Well, birthday boy got a little tipsy between shot 6 and 13, and got a little bit too comfortable with one of the girls. And a shouting match ensued, with not just loud noises, but even louder fists. Well, slaps, that is. The girls got upset and their corresponding boyfriends simply laughed it off. What could’ve been a fight was saved…until later.

We left the club, just swerving out of conflict, and went to a nearby pizzeria. We sat down with our friends and looked at what we wanted to order. It was about time birthday boy got up that the fight we saved ended up resuming. Rob went to the counter to ask to use the bathroom, and the cashier (full of unnecessary attitude in dealing with a drunken idiot) said that it was for customers only. Rob screamed, “What the hell do you mean it’s for customers only?” And I walked up, told everyone to calm down, and was greeted with Rob saying, “I don’t know what’s going on man. They’re telling me I’m not a customer. What does it even mean to be a customer then!?” Another drunken idiot bellowed: “It means you have to buy something, idiot. Shut up and sit down.”

Full of twenty-one years worth of pride, Rob got in the offender’s face and there was a shoving match. An ensuing shouting and shoving fiasco lead to Rob being pulled into a headlock and given a black eye. The guy that hit him? Oh, he just got punched in the face and tazed. Me, the innocent bystander in all of this, decided enough is enough and pulled Rob out and into the car and to security.

Now, what have I learned? We have gone a long, long way from getting a moonbounce and clown at our birthday parties to these days of all-you-can-drink alcohol and fighting. What the hell happened between then and now ? Why has fun been replaced with trying to gain a supposed supremacy and mastery of alcohol? Why is the coming of age going from 16 where we learn to drive a car, to 21 where we apparently learn how to get drunk, fight, and cause problems? There is seemingly a disconnect in what we consider the proper thing to do at birthdays nowadays. What happens at 25? Do we celebrate being able to rent a car? Or book a cruise on Carnival? How about 35? Celebrate that we can run for president by…getting trashed?

I think we have really gone a long way from our days of happiness and youth. We have convoluted and changed the rite of passage process, and seemingly obtain status through our gradual loss of innocence.

We should get back, we should understand, and we should be, above all, act appropriate with our age level and maturity. Rites of passage should be about learning and understanding. We mature and we see what we have not previously. Let’s not cloud that vision with shots of murky, murky whiskey.

Valentine’s Day: Are we all contemporary cupids?

First and foremost, I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day. Hope it was a day filled with love, passion, happiness, and all that jazz.

This post might seem pessimistic, but there is just something about Valentine’s Day that I cannot seem to wrap my finger around, and that is the idea that February 14th  is an extra special day that means more to a woman  (or man!) than any other day to give or (most likely) receive something of value. This particular Valentine’s Day struck me more than the others, because I was able to witness a friend’s pain and peril in pursuit of the greatest gift to give his girlfriend. Behold:

What better gifts for a woman to receive on Valentine’s Day than a home-cooked meal accompanied by a romantic playlist? So my friend, let’s call him Will, did what he could to make this Valentine’s day perfect for his girlfriend.

A playlist requires a good amount of thought, so let’s put some work into that.A two hour playlist to cover the night would be perfect! So Will pulled up his iTunes to find songs for this and I figured that it would be relatively quick given that there are only so many love songs a 21 year old male would have on his computer. 4 hours later, and the perfect playlist was crafted, with “Heartbreak Warfare” by John Mayer appearing a whopping 10 times (over a 2 hour period) and “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty gently setting the mood of the night at least 4 times. Interesting.

Next up, dinner! I would figure a nice salad, pasta, and (maybe) wine would be a great choice. Well, 1 out of 3 ain’t bad. Will decided to make a bread-bowl filled with pasta, except he didn’t have the bread-bowl. So, good thing Domino’s pizza delivers! (and improved their bread, I guess?) For $7.67 (tax included) plus delivery charges, Will was able to get this romantic dinner brought to him within 10-25 minutes, or this dinner was free! And wine? Nah, too classy. Red Stripe in a frozen mug would be an adequate choice. I mean, it is Jamaican for “beer”. As long as he hides the delivery box, he’s a classic example of a Casanova.

Well to make a long story short, she found the Domino’s box, hated the Red Stripe (should’ve settled for the champagne of beers instead), and as for the playlist, wondered why the same song came on so many times. Well, wasn’t that a Happy Valentine’s Day?

Why is today so much more special than every other day? Why is February 14th a better day to show love than the 13th? Or 15th? We have bought into the idea of a commercial holiday. Manmade love is superior to natural love simply because Hallmark has told us so. We have come to a point where we, collectively, think that buying gifts constitute love, and are (not so) cheap substitutes to acting in a “loving” manner. Why? Maybe we want to feel loved in such a lonely world. Well, in order to feel loved, one must show love. So people, catch on. Pass love and kindness on, not Russell Stover and chalky candy hearts. Then, we can all be our own contemporary Cupids, sniping the world with love.

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I wondered who to ask about certain questions regarding different things I’ve been struggling with one day. Certain philosophical arguments have caught my eye, and it was the case that the more I learned, the more I feared, and the more I questioned. So where to turn? I needed to talk to a friend, a mentor, a confidante, but most importantly, another human being in general. So I tweeted some Descartes—“During these last few days I was examining whether anything in the world exists…I noticed that…it obviously followed that I exist.” Immediately, different friends responded in a variety of ways—jokingly, “unless you’re a figment of my imagination stuck pondering existence as of course, the concept is incomprehensible to a figment of imagination”, philosophically: “Pondering nihilism?” and with apprehension of worry: “Does the Cartesian circle apply to ‘I think, therefore I am’? I’m confused… We’ll have to talk about this sometime”. So what does the average college junior worry about most? Money? Popularity? Fun? Or our own existence? I think, therefore I think that we are onto something with this questioning of ourselves, and of our foundations. We must ask before we act, and it is time to ask ourselves “who am I?” before we can proceed.

I was the 2008 MTV LG Texting Champion

http://www.lgtexter.com/ Believe it or not, I have actually won a stupid contest before.

It was the summer of 2008 and I was bored, sitting at home, watching MTV and all of a sudden a huge commercial sprung up on tv: “text this message “blah blah blah (I forget what it actually said)” to this number and the fastest texter wins an all expenses paid trip to New York to compete for $50,000 and the crown of LG Texting Champion! Text now!” 19 years old, bored, equipped with a cell phone. Might as well try it right? I texted the crap out of that message with my blazing fast thumbs. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…send.

When that ordeal was over with, the show came back on and I completely forgot anything about any stupid texting contest. Any kind of contest like that, especially one that requires NO SKILL AT ALL (like texting) is just plain ridiculous. I went to sleep that night without any thought of that texting competition because it seemed infeasible that being able to type with your thumbs on a cell phone as fast as you can could possibly win you anything more than a pat on the back. But little did I know, our society has tricked us into believing that this is a skill and meritable with a cash prize. Just ask my bank account…

The very next day, I came home from my summer class and sat in my dorm. I got a phone call from an unknown number and on the other line it said “Alexander, this is MTV with the LG texting contest. You got 2nd place in the regional speed competition, so in any case that the winner decides to drop out of the competition, you get to go to New York City on an all expenses paid trip to compete in the LG national texting competition live at Radio City Music Hall for a chance to win $50,000! Do you accept?”

My jaw dropped. Dude, shut the hell up. NO WAY THIS TYPE OF THING IS REAL! “Of course I accept this offer, you kind and gracious gentleman,” was the only reply that I could muster up. “Great! Please call us back with any questions that you may have. We’ll be in contact with you.” I looked around the room for hidden cameras, microphones, anything that recorded my reaction. Was I on a game show? No way this is real.

It was real: the very next day, I got a call. “Hi Alex, this is MTV with the LG texting competition again. The winner decided to drop out, would you like to go in his place?” “Why yes, I would love to.” And off to New York I went, 1st class for free that very next week to compete in the LG Texting Competition.

After that 1st class experience flying, I was greeted at the airport by a limo and chauffeur who drove us to the Times Square Hilton for our free room on the 76th floor. Never thought I’d be able to say something like that, ever. I was then given a ATM cash card preloaded with $5,000. The next day, I was chauffeured again to Radio City Music Hall in a limo to compete in the most prestigious of championships.

I lost. Pretty quickly. But hey, I got $5,000 for doing nothing. I guess I can see the motivation for wanting to enter a stupid contest. It makes sense, you get something for doing nothing. But c’mon, at least I didn’t hold my wee for a wii or eat a baby-sized burrito.